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<h1><a href="https://archiveofourown.org/works/25175752">tell me about despair, yours, and I will tell you mine</a> by <a class='authorlink' href='https://archiveofourown.org/users/Silkmoon/pseuds/Silkmoon'>Silkmoon</a></h1>

<table class="full">

<tr><td><b>Category:</b></td><td>Avatar: The Last Airbender</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Genre:</b></td><td>(Certain tags and characters will come into play as story progresses), Angst, Brief Appearances/Mentions of the Gaang, Coming Out, Discussion of Canonical Shitty Dad, Discussion of Political Marriages, Epistolary, Friends to Lovers, Internalized Homophobia, M/M, Mutual Pining, Post-Canon, Slow Burn, idiots to lovers, implied PTSD, international politics</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Language:</b></td><td>English</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Status:</b></td><td>In-Progress</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Published:</b></td><td>2020-08-03</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Updated:</b></td><td>2020-08-03</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Packaged:</b></td><td>2021-05-05 06:41:56</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Rating:</b></td><td>Mature</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Warnings:</b></td><td>No Archive Warnings Apply</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Chapters:</b></td><td>1</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Words:</b></td><td>3,883</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Publisher:</b></td><td>archiveofourown.org</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Story URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/works/25175752</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Author URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/users/Silkmoon/pseuds/Silkmoon</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Summary:</b></td><td><div class="userstuff">
              <p>It's a delicate game they play – Zuko won’t beg off of work if he can help it; Sokka, in turn, does everything in his power to ensure that there’s no work to be done.</p><p>It works until it doesn't.</p><p>Or: Zuko unpacks a century's worth of family trauma and Sokka pines.</p>
            </div></td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Relationships:</b></td><td>Iroh &amp; Zuko (Avatar), Mai/Ty Lee (Avatar), Minor or Background Relationship(s), Past Mai/Zuko - Relationship, Past Sokka/Suki, Sokka/Zuko (Avatar)</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Comments:</b></td><td>6</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Kudos:</b></td><td>69</td></tr>

</table>

<a name="section0001"><h2>tell me about despair, yours, and I will tell you mine</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Author's Note:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
      <p>The title of this comes from Wild Geese by Mary Oliver, because I think of this poem all the god damn time. Here's an excerpt:</p><p>You do not have to be good.<br/>You do not have to walk on your knees<br/>for a hundred miles through the desert repenting.<br/>You only have to let the soft animal of your body<br/>love what it loves.</p><p>While writing this, here are some songs that I listened to while writing this:<br/>Garden Song - Phoebe Bridgers<br/>Kyoto - Phoebe Bridgers<br/>Steamroller - Phoebe Bridgers<br/>Walk Through Fire - Yola<br/>Class of 2013 - Mitski<br/>invisible string - Taylor Swift<br/>Let's Get Married (Bleachers Cover) - Mitski<br/><br/>I am only somewhat sorry for how much time I spend talking about domestic and international politics. I do reject the post-ATLA world where the only option is to become a cop or world leader. I'd like to think that after taking down an oppressive government that the Gaang wouldn't be so quick to create whatever the fuck Republic City is.<br/>I hope you like reading this. Please drop me a line on tumblr @barkovs.</p><p>_________________________</p>
    </blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>
  <span>The air in Caldera is thick with mid-summer heat, the lightning-cricket’s lazy symphony punctuating nightfall in the city. Though the official solstice celebration had long-since wrapped up on the palace grounds, the occasional firework in the distance suggested that some of the capital’s youths were keen on keeping the festivities alive.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Zuko rubbed his eyes, sparing a brief glance at the scrolls scattered across his desk on the balcony. After making the official rounds at the celebration, he’d retired to his study to look over some policy proposals his advisors had passed along. It felt wrong, to Zuko, that he should be able to waste an evening at a party when there was still so much work to be done.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>In the years since the war had ended, he’s worked closely with the council of nations to oversee the peace process in the Earth Kingdom and Fire Nation colonies. The first report the special envoy had sent back to him left Zuko feeling sick. He’d foolishly believed that he’d seen it all during his months traveling alone during the war. He hadn’t even known the half of it.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>For decades, the Fire Nation had ransacked and destroyed villages at Ozai’s behest, separating families and conscripting young men just to destabilize peaceful communities. Soldiers stationed in villages under the guise of maintaining order bled communities dry to line their own pockets. All of this, for the honor of the Fire Nation.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Privately, Zuko feared that they would never know the true extent of the damage caused by his family’s war – seven years of peacetime was nothing compared to a century of colonial rule. It seemed that each act of restitution did little more than reveal another festering wound just beneath the surface.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>On the worst days, Zuko laid awake in his chambers, thinking of the generations of families and cultures all lost in the name of an unwinnable war. How could he rest, knowing he carried the legacy of a monster?</span>
</p><p>
  <span>The snap of firecrackers in the distance jolted Zuko out of his musings. While his security detail loathed the thought of leaving him vulnerable to intruders, Zuko preferred to do the brunt of his work from the balcony in his quarters. It was high up enough to obscure him from view, but still allow Zuko to survey the city from above. The pleasant murmur of the city, so alien after years of fearful silence, reminded Zuko what he was working for.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>He turned back to the scrolls in front of him, idly stoking the lantern beside him with a flick of his hand.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>The legislation had come out of the Earth Kingdom, but was largely Toph’s brain child. Rather than returning to the Bei Fong estate at the end of the war, Toph had set out to find fellow benders across the Earth Kingdom and teach them metal-bending. Instead, she had discovered that the majority of benders still hid their skills, fearful after decades of occupation. While Fire Nation troops had been withdrawn shortly after Ozai’s fall, the citizens were still weary of local law enforcement that had worked hand-in-hand to keep common people subservient.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>The war ending had done little for these people – they still lived every day in fear.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>The proposed legislation would dismantle the current punitive system, and instead develop programs to address issues in the communities that had long been ignored – food scarcity, education gaps, and generational poverty. Zuko’s agreement to the legislation was a formality. It was more that the legislation needed the legitimacy of the Fire Lord’s support to help sway the older leaders on the council.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>While he read through the document, the faint creak of his door caught Zuko’s attention. A brief shiver ran down his spine, though Zuko quickly scoffed at his own foolishness. Surely one of those New Ozai assassins wouldn’t be so polite as to come through the front door. Still, his guards knew better than to enter his quarters unannounced at this hour.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“If you’ve come to kill me,” Zuko said drily, “I only ask that you make it quick.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Didn’t know you were into that sort of thing, your Lordliness.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Sokka!” Zuko gasped, rising to greet his friend. He should’ve known it would be him – few others in his life had such little regard for decorum. “I wasn’t expecting you back for another three days.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>As ambassador of the Southern Water Tribe, Sokka spent a good portion of his year traveling. Though his permanent posting was in the Fire Nation, his natural gift for tinkering meant that he was also regularly called upon to assist with rebuilding efforts in the Earth Kingdom. Sokka’s most recent trip was a three-month-long humanitarian field operation, during which he and a team of engineers and benders worked to establish a clean water system in rural villages outside of Ba Sing Se.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Well, I knew that the Fire Nation was a few degrees cooler without me to warm it up,” Sokka said, flexing his bicep with an exaggerated leer. “So, did you miss me?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Like a fire rash,” Zuko said sardonically, but they both knew he was lying. He’d been grateful when Sokka accepted his offer of a permanent suite in the royal palace a few years back – it was nice to have a companion to spar with that wouldn’t hold back just because of Zuko’s title. Though he’d never tell him, Zuko had missed the constant interruptions Sokka provided during the day, cajoling him into taking a lunch hour or going on an excursion through the city. “If you missed me so much, you could’ve written.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I couldn’t find the words,” Sokka said breezily, waving his hand carelessly as he looked through the scrolls scattered across Zuko’s desk. He turned around with an unimpressed look on his face. “Another late-night legislation session? I leave for a couple of months and you forget what a schedule looks like.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“It’s time sensitive,” Zuko mumbled guiltily. “But I’m done for the evening, now that you’re here. Come, sit, and I’ll call for some tea so we can catch up.” He brushed past Sokka to call for staff, but the other man grabbed his arm before he could move any further.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I don’t think so. You need sleep – you can’t keep burning the candle at both ends like this,” Sokka said, quirking his lips at his own turn of phrase. Zuko felt the fight go out of him as Sokka steered him towards his bedchambers. “Sleep. I’ll be here in the morning, we can catch up then.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Sokka gave Zuko a stern look, pushing him to sit on the edge of his bed. Seemingly satisfied with his work, Sokka got up to leave. He stopped at the threshold, throwing a cheeky smile over his shoulder. “For what it’s worth, I did miss you.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Zuko sighed as the door latched shut, levering himself out of bed to change into his sleepwear. Though he’d never say it outright, the past few weeks without Sokka around had left him feeling off-kilter. He found himself looking up during policy briefings expecting to see Sokka’s equally disinterested face. He missed hiding away with Sokka in the palace gardens and taking clandestine trips into the city.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>If he didn’t feel pitiful enough already, the kitchen staff had taken to leaving extra almond biscuits with his tea in a less-than-subtle attempt to lift his mood.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Zuko gave one last look at the scrolls on his desk. Sokka was right, of course – the world won’t end if he holds off on reading them until the morning. Plus, he was certain there would be hell to pay if his friend realized he’d gone right back to work as soon as he’d left.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>He slept better that night than he had in weeks.</span>
</p>
<hr/><p>
  <span>It was an unofficial rule in the royal palace that the Fire Lord was not to be disturbed between sunrise and the morning briefing. While Zuko was generous with his time, he allowed himself these few hours of peace before his day started.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>It was also understood that the Ambassador to the Southern Water Tribe was exempt from this rule.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>The routine had started early in Sokka’s first year in residence, after Zuko found him laying waste to some training dummies before the sun had even peeked over the horizon. As it turned out, Zuko wasn’t the only one having trouble sleeping.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Zuko rolled his shoulders tiredly as he entered the palace training ground, feeling decades too old for his body. He hadn’t done anything more than basic workouts while Sokka was gone.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Not wanting to waste the little free time he had, Zuko loosely cycled through some moves with his broadswords in an effort to shake the rust out of his bones. He lost himself in the movements, thinking back to his encounter with Ran and Shaw all those years ago. Fighting, like firebending, was a dance. It was equal measures powerful and beautiful.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Well, it looks like I might just have a shot at victory today.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Zuko huffed out a laugh and rolled his eyes at Sokka. The latter was leaning against the wall, his gaze locked on Zuko with a mix of mirth and something inscrutable.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Yes, well, it’s hard to find someone who’ll put up a real fight, nowadays,” Zuko grumbled. “Even when I swear to Agni that I won’t charge them with treason on the off-chance that they defeat me.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I don’t know why they’re so worried,” Sokka said, grinning as he dropped into his fighting stance. “I beat you all the time and you still haven’t exiled me.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Seeing the challenge for what it was, Zuko lunged towards Sokka as his opponent parried the blow with ease. They made a good pair in a fight. Where Zuko relied on quick feet and force, Sokka was measured and cunning. Evenly matched as they were, Zuko was on the losing end of bouts more often than he cared to admit.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>The duo circled each other as the sun rose in the sky, neither willing to lose their footing for a quick hit. Zuko braced himself as he sensed Sokka gearing up for a blow. He laughed as he trapped Sokka’s swords between the two blades, easily rendering his opponent motionless.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Really, that’s all you’ve got?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Nah, you’re right where I want you, hot stuff,” Sokka said, pushing him off balance as he levered the broadswords out of Zuko’s hands.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Zuko stumbled back in surprise, losing his footing as he fell gracelessly into the grass. From this vantage point, it was hard not to admire his friend’s physique. Gone were the days when Sokka was all long limbs and youthful inelegance. Instead, he carried himself with the ease of a fighter, sweat glistening off his tanned arms like caramelized dewdrops in the early morning sun.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Sokka bent down toward Zuko, his face close enough to count each individual lash on his deep blue eyes. With a grin, he tapped the flat side of his sword against Zuko’s torso. “Gotcha.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Zuko shook himself out of a daze. Levering himself out of the grass, he swatted tiredly at Sokka’s hands as the latter fussed over the grass stuck to his clothes like a mother komodo-hen.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Quit it, I’ve got to get ready for my morning meetings,” Zuko said, gathering his swords from where they lay scattered on the ground.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“What’s on the docket today?” Sokka asked rhetorically, as if he didn’t know Zuko’s schedule like the back of his hand. “It’s the start of the summer harvest, so that would mean a meeting with labor and ag. Counsellor Zheng? You hate that guy.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I do,” Zuko replied with a grimace. Zheng was a holdover from the previous government. Though quietly opposed to Ozai during his reign, he still represented a subset of old-fashioned lawmakers that Zuko loathes to work with.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Sokka followed Zuko down the hallway toward his quarters. “No way I can convince you to play hooky with me? Now that I’m three days ahead of schedule my dance card is wide open.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>This, too, was a familiar routine now – Sokka, intent on getting Zuko to lighten up, and Zuko, determined to ruin his own day.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Not today,” Zuko said, stopping outside the double doors. “Best to rip the bandage off now.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Yeah, yeah, all work, no play, I get it.” Sokka huffed out rolling his eyes. He turned to the guard and waggled his eyebrows dramatically. “Does this guy ever get out?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>The guards, as usual, ignored Sokka. Zuko swears that Lieutenant Shen, the newest member of the royal guard, cracks a brief smirk. He was simultaneously annoyed and relieved – relieved that his guard felt comfortable enough around him to appreciate a joke. Even if it was at Zuko’s expense.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Whatever, go do whatever it is you do when you’re not bothering me,” Zuko said as he backed into his quarters. He waved his hands at Sokka good-naturedly, shooing him down the hallway. “I’m a very important person with many very important things to do.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Zuko smiled to himself as the doors closed, hearing Sokka’s cackle echo down the hallway.</span>
</p>
<hr/><p>
  <span>Because the spirits seemed to take a great deal of joy in Zuko’s suffering, the meeting ran long. Nearly two hours long to be exact.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Zuko liked his privy council, for the most part. He’d handpicked the majority of them with Uncle’s help, seeking out qualified individuals across the nation who were equally as invested in reform as he was. But, as a young head of state in a tumultuous geopolitical climate, he was forced to make some concessions. Namely, keeping Counsellor Zheng around.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Uncle thought Zheng was pragmatic, if a bit frigid. Zuko thought he was an asshole that was far too used to getting what he wanted.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>For the past hour, Zheng had been arguing against sending aid out to the rural states in the Fire Nation, where a recent drought had all but wiped out the season’s harvest. It didn’t matter what Zheng thought – the aid would be sent regardless of his objections.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>That didn’t stop him from trying, though.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“It’s completely unnecessary! Droughts happen all the time,” Zheng blustered. Zuko watched in fascination as his face turned a shade of red usually reserved for fire ferrets. “Why should the nobility be expected to bail out farmers and common people? It’s hardly our fault these people live such unfortunate lives.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Zuko knew exactly what Zheng thought of him. From the moment Zuko ascended to the throne Zheng had questioned his leadership, citing age and inexperience. Even now, he thought Zuko to be a child too soft and naive to run a nation.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Counsellor, where do you live?” Zuko asked, interrupting the tirade before it could go on any longer.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“The historic district of Caldera, your majesty.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Of course. Lovely fresh produce market there, I believe?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Yes, it’s quite nice,” Zheng replied, visibly annoyed. “I hardly see why that matters, your–”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“While this drought means little more than a shortage of select produce to you, these families will experience losses that will set them back for generations if we do not help them,” Zuko barreled on. “So many of the luxuries you take for granted are the result of these people’s labor, and yet you look down upon them with contempt in their time of need. Have you so little compassion for those below your station in life that you’ve forgotten that they, too, are Fire Nation citizens?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I will not sit idly in the face of suffering when it is our duty to help,” Zuko rose from his seat, nodding to the rest of his counsellors. He locked eyes with a gobsmacked Zheng. “This meeting is over.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Zuko swept out of the meeting hall, feeling far more tired than he had a right to be so early in the afternoon. He made his way to his private secretary’s desk, resigned to preside over another few hours of meetings. “How far behind schedule are we today?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Actually, that was your last meeting for the day. Your schedule is completely free.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Zuko squinted at Yufei suspiciously, but her expression remained placid.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“What about the trade minister’s party arriving from Ba Sing Se today? We were supposed to start negotiations this afternoon.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“They’re here for a week, and the agreement is all but signed. They were more than happy to spend their first afternoon at that lovely tearoom Ambassador Sokka recommended,” Yufei said, her gaze turning steely. “Zuko, you’ve barely given yourself a moment to rest in the past few weeks. Take some time for yourself.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Zuko liked Yufei. She treated Zuko like a person, and relented easily when he requested that she address him by name rather than title. She was smart as a whip, efficient, and quick to speak her mind. In a lot of ways, she reminded him of Suki.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Now, however, he couldn’t help but feel a little put out to be ganged up on by two of his closest advisors in the palace.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Unbelievable,” he said, shaking his head resignedly. Zuko knew when he was on the losing side of a battle. “I don’t suppose you know where your co-conspirator is?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I think you and I both know where he is,” Yufei said with a knowing smile. With that, Yufei gathered the scrolls from her desk and zipped down the corridor, no doubt to put out some proverbial fire before Zuko even has to worry about it.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Zuko wondered if those around him were especially perceptive, or if he was just an easy read. He didn’t need to think hard to know the answer.</span>
</p>
<hr/><p>
  <span>Sokka was, of course, exactly where Zuko expected him to be.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Years ago, when Sokka had first become an ambassador, Zuko took him on a tour of the palace gardens. He told Sokka about how he used to spend afternoons hidden away in the garden with his mother, reading together and feeding the turtleducks in the pond. He rarely liked to think about his mother, let alone discuss her outright, but it felt important to share this piece of his life with Sokka. Zuko remembered what it was like, to be a stranger in a strange land. A part of him wanted Sokka to know that things had been different before. That he’d been different, softer before.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Now, he finds Sokka sprawled out on a blanket alongside the pond, fast asleep by what appears to be an elaborate lunch spread of various meats and cheeses.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Without the ever-present wrinkle between his brows, brought on during hours pouring over schematics and legal documents, Sokka looks younger than his twenty years. The mid-afternoon light curves over his sleeping form, softening the lines of his broad shoulders.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Zuko felt embarrassed, suddenly, to see Sokka like this. He crouched down beside his friend, placing a gentle hand on his arm to rouse him from sleep.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Sokka, wake up. You won’t be able to fall asleep tonight if you rest any longer.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>After a few moments, Sokka rolled towards Zuko and groaned as sleep left his limbs. He lazily up at Zuko in an unguarded way that left Zuko feeling off-kilter.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Hey there,” he said, voice gravelly from disuse. Sokka blinked a few times, frowning as his expression cleared. “Did you just now get out of your meeting?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I would still be working if someone hadn’t meddled with my schedule,” Zuko replied snottily.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“You poor baby,” Sokka said sarcastically. They both knew that Zuko would rather spend his afternoon with Sokka instead of exchanging banal pleasantries with a diplomatic party. “A little birdie told me you’ve been running yourself ragged since I’ve been gone. Forgive me for wanting a private audience with the Fire Lord.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“What’s all this then?” Zuko asked, gesturing to the picnic spread next to Sokka. He settled onto the blanket, grabbing a grape from one of the platters. “Trying to butter me up? Extortion is illegal, you know.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>This, of course, is a game they’ve played before. Zuko won’t beg off of work if he can help it; Sokka, in turn, does everything in his power to ensure that there’s no work to be done.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>It’s nice, Zuko thinks, to have someone looking out for you, undeserved as the attention may be.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>They settle into an easy rhythm, trading stories from the past few months they’ve spent apart. Sokka tells him about the aqueduct system they implemented in the Earth Kingdom – Zuko understands approximately nothing of what he’s saying, but he’s happy enough to listen to Sokka speak on something he’s clearly passionate about. He worries, sometimes, that Sokka’s talents are wasted in the Fire Nation. As good as he is in his role as ambassador, Zuko’s glad that Sokka has the chance to travel and bring his inventions to life. A quieter, selfish part of Zuko feels lucky just to steal away any time with Sokka.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>The three months Zuko spent alone were far less interesting, but Sokka insists on hearing every little detail. Outside of legislative sessions, Zuko routine has little room for variance: he eats, he trains, and he sleeps occasionally. He tells Sokka about the new varieties of tea Uncle has been sending him to test out before he offers them to customers. Zuko is still mildly traumatized from trying that milk tea and tapioca concoction, but the latest mixtures have been far less adventurous. Still, he’s game to be a test subject if it means that Uncle is happy.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Zuko’s in the middle of rehashing the latest tea-testing debacle when he notices Sokka gazing at him with an unreadable look on his face.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Is there something wrong?” Zuko asks, worried there might be debris on his face from their shared lunch.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Nothing, it’s just–” Sokka pauses, smiling sheepishly as if he’s been caught out. “You’re sweet. Even when you were a prickly teenager running Aang around like a drill sergeant. It’s sweet how much you care.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Oh, be quiet,” Zuko says, turning away to hide his flush. He shields himself with the length of his hair, like that’s any better than the Fire Lord being seen blushing like a schoolchild.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Nah, I’ve got your number down,” Sokka teased, peeking over his shoulder as Zukko tries to bat him away. “You can play the part of ice prince all you want, but I know you.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>At some point Sokka managed to pull Zuko’s hands away from his face, instead opting to hold them in his own. A traitorous part of Zuko’s brain thinks of how nice the calloused parts of Sokka’s hands feel.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I know you,” he repeats, looking up at Zuko. “I’m glad you care so much, even about the little things. I feel lucky to see this part of you.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Zuko feels the air rush out of his lungs. He can feel his pulse thudding his is wrist as Sokka’s thumb rubs gentle circles along the bone. He feels wrong-footed, like he’s somehow ended up on the wrong side of a joke.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“It’s late,” Zuko blurts out, dropping Sokka’s hands and rising from the blanket. He turns away before Sokka can argue, brushing off his robes as he starts towards the palace. “Thanks for all this.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>He doesn’t look back, even as he hears Sokka calling after him.</span>
</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Author's Note:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>Thanks for reading the first chapter, also titled themortifyingordealofbeingknown.doc –don't worry, Zuko, we've all been there. Coming up: Zuko continues to show kindness to others that he cannot show to himself. For the sake of clarity, I borrowed some political terms/positions from parliamentary systems and the UN because I'm not trying to do any more research outside of the four years I spent in uni majoring in politics (also, do not major in politics). </p><p>I'm back at work now (the economy is, how you say, Bad), but hopefully I'll be able to keep on top of this.</p></blockquote></div></div>
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